Saturday, January 30, 2010

Every now and then, I'll come up out of the Metro into what passes as fresh air in Sol, the very heart of Madrid's city center, and someone earning slave wages will be standing at the top of that long, steep set of concrete stairs that give out to the extreme edge of the plaza's west side. Performing the thankless task ofthrusting a handbill at everyone who passes -- a small square of white paper, maybe 4" x 4", its size and color indicating that it's the latest edition of my favorite example of advertising, hands down.

Whoever puts these wonderful bits of propaganda together uses the same boilerplate. The name, phone number and address change, the headline gets tweaked, but the text is identical from one edition to the next. Always harping on about the amazing qualities of a great, illustrious African clairvoyant (GRAN ILUSTRE VIDENTE AFRICANO), the person in question sporting impressive handles like PROFESOR MARA or PROFESOR NNASTA, the professor being someone who helps to resolve diverse problems quickly, guaranteed (¡AYUDA A RESOLVER DIVERSOS PROBLEMAS CON RÁPIDEZ Y GARANTIA!)

From that point on, the text is always the same -- the Master Afridan Shaman Blahblahblah, Great Magical Spirit Medium, with natural powers and blahblah years of experience in all fields of High African Magic, helps to solve all types of problems and difficulties, no matter how knotty they may be: chronic illnesses related to drugs and tobacco, any and all marital problems, the recovery or attracting of a loved one, sexual impotence, love, business, legal problems, luck, the elimination of curses, etc, etc. All solved immediately, with positive results, 100% guaranteed, in 3 to 7 days at most (not exactly immediate, but let's not be impatient). Open 7 days a week.

I absolutely adore this. Don't ask me why -- it's just one of those things. All I can tell you is that any time I find myself with a brand new edition of this low-level, intelligence-insulting advertising in hand, it sends me down the street with a happy smile on my silly face.

It's good to be easily entertained.





España, te amo.

rws 8:29 AM [+]

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