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Thursday, March 27, 2008 [continued from previous entry] That all-encompassing version has And of course I wouldn't be doing it if it didn't include major aspects that I love. Or like. (Or like better than the other available options.) The excitement of the whole adventure, the unexpectedness of it all. Watching my life take a big veering turn, off in a direction that practically made my hair stand on end from the goofy thrill of it all. Discovering a deep, undeniable feeling of connection to places far away, with no apparent logic or explanation. Finding myself actually off exploring life in those places, learning a second language, bumping up against (metaphorically speaking, for the most part) folks from all over the map. (And me coming from parents who never strayed from the eastern U.S., from a family in which no one ever seriously took on a second language.) And confirming that I mostly like people, wherever they're from, that I mostly enjoy people and wish them well. I tend not see my life as turning corners, moving from one phase to another in clearcut fashion. I see its fabric composed of interwoven threads, all in constant flow and evolution. Sometimes lots of those threads develop momentum in a certain direction, manifesting big changes as the life I'd been riding gradually morphs into... the same life, but with different scenery, different headlines, brand new sensory input. My birth family gradually faded away in the few years, dropping off the twig one by one, my one remaining sibling becoming decisively distant once the funerals were finished and my parents' house down in the never-never land of mid-Atlantic coast Florida had been emptied out and sold. First distant, then impatient during our ever-briefer phone calls and 3-D visits, then opting out of exchanging Christmas gifts and finally to all contact of any substance. There have been lots of partings of ways during these years of my coss-Atlantic cavort, which is fine. People come and go, it's a basic part of life. But the goings have far outnumbered the, er, comings. And most people I've met during my time here in Madrid have passed right on through, becoming part of the picture for a while then moving on. Spaniards, ex-pats from the U.K. and the States, fellow-sufferers in the far too many language classes that I've subjected myself to during these years. This is not something I'm crazy about. The one and only thing I miss in any serious way about my existence back in the States is the handful of friends who feel like family. They're a long way away. And while I have another handful on this side of the ocean, they're mostly scattered around different parts of the European map. Which leaves me leading my life here, with a fair-sized void when it comes to companions in the daily slog. [continued in following entry] -- runswithscissors: the raw virility of Sonny Tufts, the timeless appeal of Zasu Pitts España, te quiero rws 2:23 PM [+]
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