Sunday, January 26, 2003

This morning: I drag myself out of bed, get to the gym just after the 10 a.m. opening of the doors (essentially the crack of dawn here -- a good time to go to the gym as most of Madrid is still comatose at 10 a.m. on a Sunday). Not completely awake, so that the combination of the first three songs played on the in-house sound system seemed especially eccentric to my ears. They were:

Hey Jude -- The Beatles
Staying Alive -- The BeeGees (perhaps in homage to Maurice Gibbs)
The Ride of The Valkyries -- Wagner

I'm not sure I've recovered from that line-up.
(And all through the Valkyries' ride, I sang to myself,
"Kill da wabbit!
Kill da wabbit!!
Kill da wabbit!!!")

That pernicious little phrase has been ricocheting around my teeny brain ever since, to the point where I think it's time to exorcise the bugger. Which I'm going to do this very minute by posting the complete lyrics to:
"What's Opera, Doc?"
Starring Bugs Bunny (Mel Blanc) and Elmer Fudd (Arthur Q Bryant)

Elmer: Be vewy quiet. I'm hunting wabbits.
(Spoken:) WABBIT TWACKS!! WABBIT HOLE!!
(Thrusting spear:) KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT!

Bugs (spoken): Kill the wabbit?

Elmer: YO HO HO! YO HO HO! YO HO....

Bugs: Oh, mighty warrior of great fighting stock
Might I inquire to ask, eh... what's up, doc?

Elmer: I'm going to kill the wabbit!

Bugs: Oh, mighty warrior, 'twill be quite a task.
How will you do it, might I inquire to ask?

E: I will do it with my spear and magic hewmet.

B: Spear and magic hewmet?

E: Spear and magic hewmet.

B: Magic hewmet?

E: Magic hewmet!

B (spoken, dismissively): Magic hewmet.

E: Yes, magic hewmet, and I give you a sample!

(Bugs exits at near-light speed.)

E (spoken): That was da wabbit!

(There follows a chase, and then:)

E: Oh, Bwoonhilda, you're so wuvly.

B: Yes, I know it, I can't help it.

E: Oh, Bwoonhilda, be my wuv....

(They dance, then... )

E: Weturn, my wuv... a fire burning inside me....

B: Return, my love, I want you always bee-side me.

E: Wuv wike ours must be...

B: Made for you and for me....

E & B : Return, won't you return, my love... for my love is yours.

(While singing, they embrace. Bugs' helmet falls to the ground revealing... a pair of big honkin' rabbit ears!)

Elmer (spoken, outraged): I'll KILL the wabbit!!
(spoken): North winds bwow, south winds bwow.
Typhoons, Hurricanes... Earthquakes!! SMOG!!!!!!
Thunder, wightning, stwike the wabbit!!

(Lightning flashes, striking something distant. Moving closer, we see the limp, lifeless form of Bugs. A drop of water clings to a crushed flower)

E: What have I done? I've killed the wabbit! Poor wittle bunny.... (Sob!)

(Bugs is carried off in Elmer's arms.)

B (spoken): Well, what did you expect from an opera, a happy ending?

**********

Ahhhh, that's better.

rws 9:47 AM [+]

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