-- Ask to have your pizza "shaken, not stirred." -- Have a sitar playing in the background. -- Ask them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead. -- When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza. -- Quote Gandhi. -- Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs. -- Ask if the pizza has had its shots. -- Tell them you want 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern from an equation you'll dictate to them. Ask if they need paper. -- When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?" -- Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.