1) Last night: went to pick up a couple of bocadillos (sandwiches on baguettes) at a local joint that puts together the best bocadillos I've eaten here in Madrid, and also has some pretty decent cider on tap. A shop I've been to many times, so it's familiar, comfortable (in its way), and because it's here in Chueca -- Madrid's Greenwich Village -- one never knows who'll be in attendance.
A small place, deeper than it is wide. The front room has a short, four-stool counter and space for passage to a rear room containing tables, chairs, a minute restroom. Televisions are mounted near the ceilings in both rooms, always playing channel 1, Television Española, a station with an impressive amount of authentically horrible programming.
On entry last night, all four counter stools were occupied. Two large women sat at the ends, two men sat between them. If, from left to right, the seats are numbered 1 through 4, a middle-aged gay man -- shortish gray hair, glasses, grayish moustache, not looking terribly happy -- sat in chair 3. He checked me out as soon as I walked in. I didn't respond, his attention returned to the TV. The woman behind the counter said hello, took my order. The man in chair 2 -- late-20's, dark hair with the tips up on top dyed dirty blonde, wearing a down coat, dirty, faded jeans and black platform boots -- sat watching the TV, chewing on his nails. His eyes met mine for a moment, I smiled then turned my attention to the woman behind the counter. The chairs were spread out, leaving me no room to get to the counter. The woman in chair no. 1 -- a bit heavy-set with full lips and a pleasant face, dressed for cold weather and completely buttoned up -- noticed that, murmured something to the guy in chair no. 2, reaching out and pulling his chair toward her to create room for me. I thanked her, said I was fine, and as she said something more to chair no. 2, I realized when I heard her voice that she was a he, and she was with the 20-something in chair no. 2. At the other end of the bar, the woman in chair no. 4 -- taller, more stylishly dressed than chair no. 1, with long painted nails and carefully applied make-up -- talked into a cellphone. Also male. I watched them all for a moment, then looked around the space, noticing a sign advertising tarot card readings on Monday through Thursday nights. In the back room, I could see three people seated at a table, realized one was reading cards for the other two. The TV played some truly awful shit. When my food was ready, I paid up and headed home. The bocadillos were excellent.
2) During an after-lunch stroll earlier today, I turned a corner onto la Calle de Fuencarral, one of the barrio's main drags. A heavyset woman passed, probably in her 30's, wearing a nice full-length black coat, long enough that it extended to 6-8 inches above the sidewalk. Between her full head of black hair and the coat, she gave the impression of a substantial dark mass moving down the sidewalk. Except for her footgear -- snakeskin cowboy-style boots, colored a bright, mottled orange. Yowza!
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Further seasonal diversion that's made the e-mail rounds in recent years (NOTE: the same plea/disclaimer that I've made for those previously-posted diversions applies here -- see journal entry of 12/11/2001):
THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, LEGALLY SPEAKING
Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.
A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a St. Nicholas a/k/a Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at some time thereafter.
The minor residents, i.e., the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein visions of confectionary treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort, caper and otherwise appear in said dreams.
Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as "I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the parts of the second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap.)
Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e. the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.
At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "the Vehicle") being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be, and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.
Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter "the Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co-conspirator named "Rudolph" may have been involved.)
The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Clause entered said House via the chimney.
Said Claus was clad in red vestments, which were partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.
Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stockings of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)
Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.
However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Clause state and/or exclaim: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"