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Saturday, December 15, 2001 I've figured out why the Spaniards have been going nuts about the arrival of cold weather -- because it's freakin' cold! Madrid weather being so generally benign -- relatively warm in spring/autumn, authentically hot from May through September -- one forgets what it feels like to walk outside into an intense blast of winter air. Temperature today at 1 p.m. (according to a street clock/thermometer): -2 centigrade, meaning it probably remained below freezing all day. Everyone looks a bit dazed by it, walking around slightly hunched over, cheeks red. Fur coats -- far more popular here than in the States -- have quickly become a common sight. In recent days, I've been searching nearby sections of Madrid for Christmas cards (tarjetas de Navidad). There are few to be found, and what I've seen so far have been godawful. Tacky, sentimental, badly drawn/painted. Went to the Thyssen Museum this morning -- a world-class joint, with a store that sells a broad selection of prints and post cards. Nothing. No Christmas cards. At all. Good thing I have a few leftover Unicef cards, otherwise I'd be in trouble. ************************** A funny that's been making the e-mail rounds: MEMORANDUM Friday Dec. 12, 2001 @ 8:17am FM: Bin Laden, Osama TO: All Cavemates RE: The Cave Hi guys. We've all be putting in long hours lately, but we've really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no 'I' in 'team'" as well as the one that says "Hang in there, baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly, I have a few concerns. First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our living space. Hey, you don't want to be stung and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've posted a sign-up sheet at the main cave opening. Second, it's not often I make a video address, but when I do I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're taping please don't ride your razor scooters in the background... just while we're taping. Thanks. Third point, and this is a touchy one: as you know, by edict, we're not supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene, especially after mealtime. We're all in this together. Fourth, food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently and clearly wrote "Osama" on the front before I put it on the top shelf. Today my Cheez-Its were gone. Consideration, that's all I'm saying. Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. The first patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar and Richard. Love you lots. Osama. rws 7:41 AM [+] |